Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Self, Skin and Body Confidence

Hey everyone!

This isn't really a beauty related post, it is more related to self confidence and self esteem.
Whilst studying health and social at school for roughly the last 5 months, I have learnt more about self esteem and self confidence.

I am a very shy person, especially when I first meet somebody! I haven't been as shy in Sixthform than I was when I was younger but in front of new people I'm not as confident as I should be.
I thought I would write about my experience with self confidence and self esteem as everyone is different but there may be some people who read this and think that they can relate to it.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I just thought that this may help some people out there whether its only one or more!
Self Confidence and Self-Esteem
In a nutshell, I really don't have much self confidence! I don't believe in myself anywhere near as much as I should do but I am one of these people who doesn't really believe that they can do anything well enough.
For example, makeup - I would absolutely love to do something related to makeup or any else beauty when I'm older but I don't think I can do it well enough. I give up too quickly whether it's makeup or nail art!
Another example is my blog and YouTube - I think a lot of the time that my blog isn't very good and I can become a bit lazy with it because I don't think it's good enough but the sweet comments that I get on my posts and a few emails I have got make me want to write more and more for you.
I would love to start YouTube one day! Seeing as I'm quite a shy person, I feel really awkward sitting in front of a camera talking to myself. I may start YouTube when I'm older but I think I would have to increase my self confidence level first.
I also had to tell someone something recently that was already really hard to say but having my low self confidence, I found it a lot more difficult than I should have.
Self esteem is also something I lack in. I did a questionnaire in one of my health and social lessons which had a lot of really 'deep' and personal questions and I think my result was "you have dangerously low self esteem." Now, I know that not all questionnaires like this are correct but even when reading the questions, I could tell that I didn't have much self esteem.
 
 
Skin Confidence
There are a lot of people in the world who don't need to wear makeup to go out the house and people who don't panic about other people seeing them without any makeup on, but sadly I'm really not one of those people!
I genuinely can't leave the house bare faced and without any makeup on. I hate it someone just 'pops round' quickly so I try to avoid them until they leave and I actually avoid any glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I have very bad dark circles, redness and blemish scars. I have been looking into getting the Alpha-H Liquid Gold to see if it can help to improve my skin to give me some more confidence!

 
Body Confidence (This will be long!)
Out of the three of these, I would say my body confidence level is either lower than or tied to my skin confidence level.
 Zoella's 'why are you so skinny?' blog post actually made me want to write about body confidence and if you haven't already read hers then please do, it's a great post and she goes into a lot more detail than I will.
First of all, I would like to say that I am very slim and I have been for my whole life although it wasn't as visible until my height increased dramatically.
People have constantly said to me "you're so skinny!", I've had one person ask me if I was anorexic once even though I'm not and I found it very rude and upsetting to be honest. Like Zoe says in her post, it is all about metabolism! If you're thinking, 'oh I really wish I had a fast metabolism!' Then you should know that it's not as amazing as you may think! Yes people have said to me that they're jealous and I'm lucky to be able to eat whatever I want and how much I want but having a fast metabolism means it is incredibly hard to gain weight and maintain it because your body is breaking down fat and calories a lot quicker than a normal metabolism.
If anyone who I know reads this, then they will know that I eat a lot of food so it's not as though I'm starving myself to be slim, I eat a hell of a lot!
Being so slim gives me an incredibly low body confidence level. Non uniform days at school or what I like to call them, 'day of judgement', gives everyone a chance to ask or comment saying "you're so skinny." Now people trying to lose weight can go through a hard time but people gaining weight can go through a hard time too but people don't think of that.
Hearing things throughout my life and occasionally now too such as;
'Are you anorexic?'
'Why are you so skinny?'
'You look like a walking skeleton' (yes that was said to me once) etc.
They bring my already low body confidence level down a lot more! Also, when people who are thinner than you say something like that, you start to wonder if they see themselves as thin too or if they see themselves as overweight.

Again, people trying to lose weight often have a low body confidence level but people don't feel the need to say to them stuff like;
'You must be obese!'
'You need to lose some weight'
'You probably just sit around all day and don't stop eating!'
They don't say things like this because they see it as rude, an insult and very unacceptable but asking a slim person questions about their weight and size is seen as absolutely fine and totally acceptable!

A lot of people seem to think that everyone who is slim has some sort of eating disorder and needs help and they think it's okay to ask someone whether or not they actually do. People don't seem to take genes, metabolism, medical issues or anything of that nature into account which is unfair whether or not they are the reason for why they are slim.
If you have ever said something to someone who is slim about their weight or size, then you may have noticed in their facial expressions, possibly body language and even sudden silence that you have hurt their feelings a bit even though you may not have intended to, as well as possibly lowering their body confidence level.
If you're worried about someone's weight, then you need to find a way to mention it to them in a nicer way.

As a naturally slim person, I can tell you that saying anything negative to somebody about their height and weight is unacceptable and you have no idea how much it can affect them, unless you have experienced it yourself.
Now I'm not very happy with my size and I would love to be bigger than I am but like it said, with such a fast metabolism it takes a hell of a long time to gain weight and keep it.
I hopefully will have a much higher body confidence level in the future!

Everyone should be able to feel happy with their body, and if they don't then they will probably do something about it but with people constantly commenting negatively, it makes it a lot harder!


I really hope this helped anyone who may think that they are alone in a situation like this.
Do you think people should be able to comment on somebody's height and weight or not?
Thanks for reading!
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24 comments

  1. You did a really great job writing this blogpost.
    I really understand you and I think everyone can relate to it at least in one point.
    Thank you for that!

    x houseinthesand.blogspot.com

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    1. Thankyou:D and you're welcome! Xx

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  2. Yes molly great blogpost and i feel for you as i am there myself but a lot worse i do not leave my house hardly only to take my furry friend for quick walk.

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    1. Thankyou!:) I have to admit that I wouldn't be able to do that either! Xx

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  3. Hi darling. This was a great post. I've been struggling with self-esteem and self-confidence for such a long time too. So I really understand how you're feeling. People treat us as if we were 'weird' or something, but it's no crime being shy, it's just your personality.
    For me, time has really helped me with self-confidence and meeting new people who were very nice and accepted me as I am, despite my flaws. However, improving self-esteem is much harder. I think that society, media and the world around us makes us feel like we're not good enough: you're too skinny, yours hips are too wids, your breasts are too small, your breasts are too saggy and the list is endless. But, something that really helped me was stop comparing myself to other people, not just models and actressess but especially to relatives and friends. Every person is unique and beautiful in a different way. I don't know you personally but I think you're a lovely girl, especially because your personality is very sweet and you're very nice. That shows through your writing.

    I wish this comment would help you and other visitors.

    And remember: To love yourself is the beginning of a life-long romance - Oscar Wilde.

    PS: I would really enjoyed if you wrote more posts about these themes. And regarding your blog, I think it's a good blog. It's one of my favourites.

    Lots of love.

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    1. Thankyou Esther! I'm really glad you liked the post and that you're able to relate to it aswell:) self and body confidence is taken in such a harsh way because people don't understand how you really feel if they say something to you that can be hurtful.

      Thankyou again for your sweet comment!:) xxx

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  4. SO glad you sent me here ! I'm always so self concious about my weight and that's the only issue I have . I'm really confident and its a great thing but it really gets you down when you here a comment about your weight! People don't realise how hard it is to lose weight or in your case gain it . Thank you so much and your beautiful inside and out ! Don't think otherwise ! Xo

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    1. You're welcome:) and I know, it's really frustrating when people don't understand! You're welcome again and thankyou:D xxx

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  5. I love to see posts like this on beauty blogs! I think it's important to have a little reminder like this every now and again :) I wrote a similar one. I'll leave the link below in case you wanted to have a look. Really like your blog btw, and if you're ever passing through mine, do say hi!

    Kerry, from Kerralina

    Confidence post: http://kerralina.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/confidence-and-young-woman-is-make-up.html

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    1. Thanks Kerry! I had seen a few of these posts and wanted to write one myself with my own experience:) ill check out your blog and follow, follow back?:) xxx

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  6. This is a very beautiful post!
    Thank you so much for this!

    xx
    http://sonicmoonboots.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you Andie! And you're very welcome:) xx

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  7. I really love this post, and it honestly opened my eyes.
    I am overweight because of a medical condition, which I was bullied for my whole life, and as such, I despise being in my own skin, but reading this made me realise as much as I want to be perfectly skinny, skinny people can feel self conscious too! It seems daft to only just realise this since I am nearly 20, but it goes to show how easy it is to become trapped in your own little bubble of self hatred and judgement. We need more love and support, methinks. :) xox

    http://zombieturtlebeauty.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks:) it doesn't seem daft to realise when you're nearly 20! Some people never realise and others feel as though they are trapped in the wrong body or something.

      Thanks for your comment!:) xx

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  8. What a great post,thanks for sharing!!

    I have an international giveaway on my blog, hope you will enter;
    http://beautyandlifestylehunter.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. Thankyou and you're welcome!:) xxx

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  9. This is a brilliant post! So refreshing to hear this talked about :) xxx

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  10. I totally know how you feel- I get very self conscious when people tell me you're a twig or why are you so skinny. It's just the way I am. I eat normally but people just judge away. I am luckily one of the people that are okay with not wearing makeup. It took me awhile to get that way. This is such a great post! Anyway, I nominated you for an award :)

    http://kassicalife.blogspot.com/2013/01/versatile-blogger-award.html

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    1. People really don't understand how it can make you feel to be called skinny! You're so lucky up you're comfortable without wearing makeup haha:) and thankyouu! Xxx

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  11. Lovely blog hun! :)

    I'm following from the #bbloggers blog hop :)

    www.myladyboudoir.blogspot.co.uk

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  12. Such a lovely post x

    check out my cath kidston giveaway 1stepclosereveryday.blogspot.co.uk

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